Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
