Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
