Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
