i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
