Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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