If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
