I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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