I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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