My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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