Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize