there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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