I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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