he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
