I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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