Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
