You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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