Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
