so explain again why im purple
no
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
