Who wears a wallet chain?!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
