Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
