He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
