dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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