Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
