Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
