You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Sober January is a disaster.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
