this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
