She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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