were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
