So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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