Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
