so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
