Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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