Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
