They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
They have beer where we have blood.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
