I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
"it" just moved
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
