Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
