My cat gives me a boner
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
