how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
