remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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