Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
