Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
