she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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