R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
