ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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