using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
