How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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