you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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