can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
