He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
