i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
