I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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